Interacting with Italians is more than just learning a few words (like bathroom and train) and playing charades.
Italians like to take their time, not only with their food and wine but with their conversations as well. Beginning a conversation with an Italian without taking the time to greet them first is an insult and will likely make the rest of your encounter less pleasant than it could have been.
I learned this lesson while visiting Italy in 2015, which was my first time going back to Italy since my original visit in 2004.
Italy was having a heatwave on the day I decided to bring Jeff to Pompeii so that he could see how amazing it was. I stopped to get us waters on the way to the train station in Sorrento, practicing what I was going to say to the shopkeeper in my head the entire way there. We wanted two waters so over and over I repeated, due acque per favore to myself. By the time I arrived, I had it down and confidently strode into the shop with my request memorized. I walked up to the counter and said, “due acque per favore.”
The shopkeeper simply stared at me with the hard, practiced stare of a nonno and didn’t move to get my waters. Immediately I started second-guessing myself. Did I say it wrong out loud? Had I been practicing it wrong? No. I was certain I said it correctly.
I smiled and repeated myself and this time he responded, but not with what I was expecting. He responded with, “Buongiorno.” That was all.
Trying again, I reciprocated and said, “Buongiorno. Due acque per favore.”
I can’t tell you my shock when his answer was simply, “No”.
At this point, I was thoroughly confused and was about to leave to go to another shop for water when the shopkeeper taught me a very valuable lesson. He said, “Primo, buongiorno. Dopo, due acque per favore. No primo due acque. Tutti primi buongiorno.”
What this roughly translates to is, “First, good morning, then two waters, please. You don’t just walk into a store and ask for what you want. You always give a greeting first.”
I will never forget what I learned from this short encounter and I think it’s important to share it with anyone planning on traveling abroad. Not everyone is in as much of a hurry as we tend to be.
Wherever you’re going, even if you don’t have much time to learn the language, take the time to learn the greetings. You’d be amazed at how willing people are to help you when you begin your conversation with a greeting in their language.
